How to Combat Negative Self-Talk and Improve Self-Esteem
People tend to criticize themselves at one point or another. Although perfectly natural in some situations, negative self-talk and too much self-criticism become a major problem. Consequences of negative self-talk involve low self-esteem and confidence, as well as reduced quality of life. However, negative self-talk and poor self-esteem can become history with the right approach. Scroll down to learn how to make it happen.
Table of Contents
How to Combat Negative Self-Talk and Improve Self-Esteem
Defining self-talk and self-esteem
The link between negative self-talk and self-esteem
Defining self-talk and self-esteem
Self-talk is defined as self-directed speech emitted out loud. More precisely, the term self-talk refers to phrases, statements, or cue words addressed to the self, which might be said automatically or strategically, either out loud or silently. These phrases or statements can be positive or negative, for instructional or motivational purposes.
Positive self-talk is all about encouragement, motivation, and productive comments. On the flip side, negative self-talk refers to the inner voice that makes critical, negative, and punishing comments. Consequences of negative self-talk include:
Anxiety
Depression
Anger
Shame and/or guilt
Higher stress levels
Perfectionism
Insecurity
Eating disorders
Relationship problems
Low self-esteem
Sleep disturbances and digestive issues
Failing to use opportunities to achieve your goals.
Self-esteem refers to how we value and refer to ourselves. Evidence confirms that self-esteem is closely associated with well-being and several adaptive outcomes, as well as life satisfaction. Healthy self-esteem is the reason a person feels positive about themselves and life. It increases resilience and helps people deal with ups and downs. Negative self-esteem makes it difficult for a person to deal with challenges due to seeing oneself and life in a negative and overly critical light.
The link between negative self-talk and self-esteem
Negative self-talk undermines self-esteem by reinforcing a critical and unkind internal narrative. When a person constantly tells themselves they’re unworthy, not good enough, or not capable of handling life challenges or certain situations, these thoughts start feeling like facts. This is the case when negative self-talk happens on a daily basis.
With time, the inner dialogue shapes how a person views their value, abilities, and potential. In such a situation, it becomes more difficult to recognize strengths or accept praise, leading to insecurity and self-doubt. The more these negative thoughts are repeated, the more deeply rooted they become, thereby creating a cycle where low self-worth increases self-criticism. This leads to poor confidence, motivation, and emotional well-being.
Tips to combat negative self-talk and boost self-esteem
Negative self-talk and low self-esteem can take a huge toll on a person’s mental and physical health and may reduce quality of life. Here are useful strategies to tackle self-talk, increase your self-esteem to feel better and happier, and conquer challenges successfully in every aspect of life.
Practice self-awareness
People can’t change what they don’t notice. Try to pay attention to your inner dialogue throughout the day. When you spot negative and critical thoughts, take a moment and ask yourself whether those are based on fact or assumption. Think about the trigger behind negative self-talk. Once you identify negative self-talk and specific thoughts that come along, you start to notice patterns. With increased self-awareness, it becomes easier to be proactive and take action.
Always remember that negative thoughts aren’t facts
Everyone has negative thoughts from time to time, but it becomes a problem when they push out positive thinking. Although negative thoughts may seem realistic, they’re not facts. Most of them are irrational. In order to combat negative self-talk, it’s crucial to acknowledge that your thoughts aren’t necessarily facts.
Challenge negative self-talk
Once you identify negative thoughts and accept that they’re not the facts, it’s necessary to challenge them. The most important thing here is to find the strong argument that shows how inaccurate that negative thought really is. Consider the evidence for and against that thought and try to think what a supportive person would say to you as a response to that thought.
This is called cognitive restructuring, a key technique in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). Evidence shows that CBT techniques can improve self-esteem and coping.
Practice gratitude
Practicing gratitude can help shift the focus away from the negatives. Doing so helps you recognize your own worth and accomplishments. As a result, gratitude can boost self-esteem and contribute to positive self-talk. At the same time, it may mitigate feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.
Recognizing situations that affect self-esteem
Try to think about the situations that negatively affect your self-esteem and contribute to negative self-talk. Common triggers may include work presentations, home or work crises, major life changes, and relationship challenges.
Recognize what you’re good at
Everyone has specific talents and skills, which is why it’s useful to recognize what you’re good at. Good examples are singing, playing an instrument, cooking, doing puzzles, sports, and more. Being aware of your skills and talents and practicing them regularly boosts your mood and self-esteem.
Use positive affirmations
Positive affirmation is a short statement or a positively loaded phrase that is used to challenge unhelpful or negative thoughts. These affirmations are ideal for people who struggle with negative self-talk and poor self-esteem. The main goal of positive affirmations is to reinforce self-worth and self-acceptance. As you repeat them, you acknowledge your value and develop a stronger sense of self.
Good examples of positive affirmations are:
I am confident.
I am enough.
I grow and improve every day.
I am worthy of …
I am in control.
I am powerful.
I can conquer/tackle anything.
Practice self-compassion
In order to tackle negative self-talk and improve self-esteem, you need to be kind to yourself. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend. Whenever you make a mistake (because making mistakes is human) or feel inadequate, acknowledge your suffering or emotions without judgment. Self-compassion increases self-esteem, improves emotional resilience, and helps lower anxiety and depression.
Other ways to manage negative self-talk and boost self-esteem
Useful approaches to manage negative self-talk and increase self-esteem also include the following:
Surround yourself with people who uplift you and appreciate you
Divide big goals into smaller, achievable steps
Avoid comparing yourself to other people
Increase physical activity levels
Practice mindfulness
Take up journaling
Seek professional help if necessary.
Conclusion
We all experience self-doubt and criticism. The goal isn’t to eliminate them entirely, but to change how you relate to them. Through more positive self-talk and greater self-esteem, you can shift your mindset and avoid focusing on the negative thoughts that come along. Doing so is entirely achievable with a few simple steps. Always remember that practice makes perfect.
References
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10813701/
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8947089/
